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I discovered that he's been surfing porn sites and going to chat rooms to have sex with other women online.When I confronted him, he didn't understand why I was upset.

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When I spoke to him again about it, he did apologise and said he won’t do it again but he then came out with a load of stuff about how unhappy he was in the marriage, that we never spend time together (which is true), but I don’t think it is fair for him to blame me.

My husband is a great father and has always been very hands-on with the children who really love him and I don’t want to end up separated.

First, your husband offers an explanation for his behavior that is possible, but not highly believable.

Unless he informed you or gave you the chance to participate in these activities, it was not an honest act on his part.

An i OS app that is used if you don’t want anyone to know that you downloaded a privacy app.

The icon is disguised as “My Utilities,” so no one will ever guess there are private photos tucked away in your phone.

This situation underlines the importance of checking in with one's spouse or partner about the various aspects of long-term relationships: finances, in-laws, jobs, children (if any), housekeeping, plans, and sex. So, even though you said your vows and have been together for a while, it sounds like the topic of online chatting and surfing porn sites never came up.

ASK THE EXPERT: QI have been married 10 years and we have four children aged 9, 7, 6 and 4.

AWith people spending more and more time online, accessing pornography and adult websites can be a big problem in modern marriages.

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