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(At least for me; it was the first time I had identified myself in that way.) A year or so later, when I got pregnant, we went back in to the doctor to confirm and after we had heard our baby's heartbeat for the first time, seen that it was a real being, that our lives were about to change, the nurse comes in to do my examination (my boyfriend had left at this point) and tells me in a sly voice, ' I guess we can cross the bisexual off your chart, can't we?

That was just a phase.'" "I'm a bi/pansexual woman married to a straight man. My parents never said that homosexuality was wrong, but they never really said it was OK either. But my church made it clear to me as a young person that it was only OK to be straight.

”’ You’ll be ready to start the recovery then – and it starts with cutting her out of your life completely.

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"I was in a new city, needed a doctor, so filled out my health history, my partners, etc.

I've only ever been with my boyfriend and one woman, so it was a big deal when I wrote down that I was bisexual on that form.

A woman could really Even though my parents thought this was a "phase," or that I'd been brainwashed, they not only came to love my wife as a daughter – they became outspoken LGBTQ advocates. Soon I met a guy who liked to do all kinds of cool stuff, too.

My wife and I had marched with thousands of others for marriage equality. My novels featured queer characters, and my poems honored the love between women.

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Our husbands were not sleeping with us; their salaries were paltry; they left sinks full of dishes and dishes full of scrap. "You couldn't pay me to sleep with a woman," my friend said, and I nodded in agreement.

I've always understood myself to be irrevocably hetero, in love with muscles and sweat, with stubble and silence, with the flat-packed chest and the visible bicep.

I didn't have to worry about what men thought of me. The next year, we took our love for travel to a new level: We left our jobs to live without a home, staying with friends and housesitting all over the world. And this fall, we're moving to China, where I'll be teaching for a year.

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